How to ease anxiety: 6 ways that will surprise you
Could a new year herald a new perspective on your mental health? When you can feel panic rising, getting creative with your coping skills may be the way forward
There comes a point in every year when something encourages us to rethink the habits we form, our fitness levels, even our cluttered rooms. We may try to cut back on alcohol or sugar, join a gym or start running and prune our wardrobe and bookshelves โ but why limit this burst of energy and re-evaluation to the traditional resolution areas? The way in which we deal with anxiety is probably just as much in need of reassessment. In fact, reassessing how to ease anxiety in our daily life could go a long way to helping us with those bad habits and fitness levels.
When you are worried, it can be easy to fall into familiar but unhelpful thinking styles. Perhaps you intentionally avoid the source of your tension, or maybe you repeatedly tell yourself to stop being so irrational. Howโs that working out for you? More than likely, the negative chatter and sleepless nights have slowly but surely ramped up. โWhen we try to block troubling emotions, it can be like blocking a wave. This doesnโt stop the wave or disperse its power. It sends it back temporarily, ensuring its return,โ explains Sophie Mort, a clinical psychologist.
Itโs hard to rationalise your way out of these feelings because, when you are anxious, your frontal lobes โ the part of the brain responsible for control and being in the moment โ are not fully engaged. Your automatic pilot has control,โ adds Dr Mort. โThatโs why itโs so hard to โsnap out of itโ, as people often suggest to others who are tense.โ
While anxiety is a condition to which we are often genetically predisposed and have likely been suffering from for decades, the past two years wonโt have helped. A study by the University of Queensland in Australia estimates that cases of anxiety have increased by 26 globally during the pandemic, with women particularly prone to it due to the burden of caregiving responsibilities. Life may slowly be returning to some kind of normal, but thatโs exactly when your nerves can take a hit, says Dr Mort.
โIn a stressful situation, itโs just about surviving. The brain is in fight-flight mode, battling for its life. It would be detrimental for it to allow those emotions in,โ she explains, โbut when youโre emerging from that high stress, the reality of what youโve been living through floods in and thatโs when anxiety hits. Iโm seeing it right now with so many people, not just in my clinic, but family, friends and myself.โ
Trying to calm those jitters can take a counterintuitive approach. With this in mind, we turned to therapy and the latest science to bring you fresh insight into the calming techniques that truly work:
How to ease anxiety in your daily life
1. Postpone your worry
It started as a niggle โ your boss questioned your recent absence โ but soon itโs playing on a loop and pushing your insecurity buttons. โThe negative internal chatterbox is a classic symptom of generalised anxiety disorder (GAD), where a person worries uncontrollably and constantly. Itโs incredibly draining,โ says Ivana Franekova, a psychotherapist and coach.
Rather than trying to ignore or deny the thought, she suggests a CBT technique where you delay it. โSetting a daily time specifically for worrying gives you more control over it. When an intrusive thought pops up, note it briefly on paper or voice memo, then save it for later.โ And when your โworry periodโ arrives? โSit in an area that you donโt habitually go, away from your desk or bedroom. Often people find worries have lessened or resolved themselves, but if not, take the set time โ up to 20 minutes โ to process them. Write down the thought, ask yourself if it is factual and can you make a plan to solve it. This practice takes perseverance and you need to set a similar worry time each day, but itโs very freeing.โ
2. Cool down with icy water
Dunking your face in icy water may be the last thing you feel like doing when anxiety hits, but itโs one of the fastest ways to ground yourself, says Dr Mort. โThe sudden change in temperature and the contact between your nostrils and water activates the mammalian dive reflex. This ancient reflex is a survival strategy that does the opposite of fight-flight. When triggered, your breathing slows, your heart rate drops by 10-25%, a deeply relaxing shift, and blood is sent back from the limbs to the heart, so muscle tension and shakiness drops. It stops a panic attack in its tracks.โ Fill a bowl with water and add ice (keep the water above 10ยบC). Hold your breath and submerge your face for 20-60 seconds. Repeat if necessary.
3. Shift your attention outward
We all know the mood-boosting effects of exercise and nature, but a new study recommends we go one step further by making ourselves pay attention to those things that we normally overlook, such as starlings overhead or towering skyscrapers, or leaves crunching underfoot. Researchers found that more positive moods grew over the eight-week study, suggesting that awe increases with practice. โShifting our energy and attention outward instead of inward can lead to significant improvements in wellbeing,โ say researchers.
4. Take your thoughts to ‘court’
Your partner has been a bit distant lately and you canโt shake the feeling that they have lost interest in youโฆ Itโs all too easy to second-guess, mind-read and catastrophise with no solid proof, which is why a technique used in CBT, โthe court caseโ or โthought challengingโ, can be useful.
โTaking your thought to court helps you realise that thoughts are not facts,โ explains Franekova. โIt encourages you to look for concrete proof of your intrusive thought, rather than simply going on assumptions.โ First identify the โhot thoughtโ that is causing you distress. Then, in your head or on paper, look for factual evidence to support your hot thought (he rarely compliments you; heโs always on his phone). Next, look for evidence against it (he treated you to dinner out last weekend). Finally, consider alternative thoughts, perhaps imagining what a friend would say about it (heโs been stressed at work; maybe youโve also been distant). This kind of reasoned thinking helps you pause and challenge your anxiety.
5. Flunk your way through
Worriers have a tendency towards perfectionism, which can lead to procrastination, and yet more anxiety. A study by the University of Cambridge has an unlikely solution: give yourself permission to do something badly. The author of the study, Drย Olivia Remes, even gave a TED talk about it. โYou could spend hours deciding how you should do something or what you should do, which can be time-consuming and stressful,โ says Dr Remes. โInstead, just start by doing it badly, without worrying about how itโs going to turn out. This will not only make it easier to begin, but youโll find youโre completing tasks more quickly. More often than not, youโll find that youโre not doing it that badly after all โ and if you are, you can fine-tune it.โ
6. Lean in to your anxious feeling
You need to buy food, but the last time you went to the supermarket, you had a panic attack, so you book a delivery. But avoidance is short-term coping behaviour that feeds anxiety. โWhen you avoid something, you are not teaching your brain that you can do it and survive,โ says Dr Mort. She recommends graded exposure, a technique of tolerating anxious feelings that works for social anxiety and panic attacks. โImagine you are experiencing the scenario, whether itโs the supermarket or a difficult conversation. While thinking it through in detail, do breathing exercises (inhale through your nose for a count of four, exhale through your mouth for six). Watch your anxiety go up like a wave before crashing down, because what goes up must come down, including emotions.โ
Amazingly, your brain doesnโt differentiate between real and imagined scenarios when triggering the stress response. โIf you imagine something in detail, your brain will think youโve done it before, so is better able to tolerate anxiety.โ You can increase your tolerance with gradual exposure in a process called habituation. โIf youโre scared of the supermarket, sit outside in your car for five minutes, do your breathing exercise, then leave. Next, stand outside the door for five minutes, then leave. Next, go down the first aisle for five minutes, then leave. Itโs about building up slowly, so your brain doesnโt activate the stress response so quickly.โ
With thanks to our experts
Sophie Mort is a clinical psychologist and author of A Manual For Being Human (Simon & Schuster, ยฃ14.99).
Ivana Franekova is a cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) therapist and anxiety coach.
Photographs: Getty Images