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5 ways to build bridges with an estranged sibling

Dr Jason Robinson, clinical chair at charity Stand Alone, who runs workshops on reconciliation, gives us some pointers

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5 ways to build bridges with an estranged sibling

2 minute read

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Look at your own role in the rift as honestly as you can. Then try and get an understanding of your siblingโ€™s perspective.

Remember that just because youโ€™re siblings, it doesnโ€™t mean you have to agree on everything. Also, remember neither of you has to be the โ€˜perfectโ€™ brother or sister. You just need to be good enough.

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Avoid meeting at emotionally loaded times when there is pressure to be the perfect family, such as Christmas. Instead, do something low-key and informal, like go for coffee together, alone, in a quiet place.

Normalise your situation; remember many siblings do not get on, so donโ€™t stigmatise yourself by self-judging negatively in your internal dialogue.

Weigh up how the reconciliation is going based only on direct communication with your sibling, rather than second-hand reports. Families can be very political and different members can have different agendas.

For more on Stand Alone, head to standalone.org.uk

Photograph: Getty

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