What job should I do?
Constantly asking yourself: what job should I do? Hazel Davies shares how looking back to the things you enjoyed doing as a child can help you decide what career to do now...
Even in a world full of endless career possibilities, many people find themselves asking: what job should I do? If you’re struggling to find an answer to this seemingly impossible question, the answer could lie in your childhood. Hazel Davies shares how looking back to the things you enjoyed doing as a kid can help when you don’t know what to do as a jobโฆ
When my friend, Andy, wasย growing up, he wanted to be a lifeboat captain. He sailed regularly with his family butย when faced with the question, ‘what job should I do?’, the thought of pursuing sailing as a career seemedย ludicrous for a bookish and musical boy.ย Instead, Andy made a career for himself in the musicย industry running a record label, while every soย often hankering after the sound of the waves.
Itโs a scenario with which I am familiar. Myย childhood passion was music. I would sit at ourย ancient piano, imagining myself at Woodstockย hanging out with Bob Dylan and Joan Baez. Iโveย spent the best part of my life saying, โI wouldย have been a singer if…โ But becoming a musicianย just wasnโt something people like me from myย background did, so I didnโt bother to look into itย too much, and chose a career as a writer.ย
How changing your career changes your life
Four years ago, Andy and his family movedย to the coast. He started volunteering with the local lifeboat crew and, when a job as aย coxswain came up, he went for it. The move involved financial sacrifice but hisย family was supportive.
Five months on, he says: โIt was the right decision. My old work wasย beginning to feel routine and unimportant.ย Living up to the trust the volunteers place inย me is a big responsibility, but it doesnโt feel stressful because I have the support at workย and home to get the job done.โย ย
His life changed dramatically. โIn the musicย business, I was in St Petersburg one week and Los Angeles the next. Now, Iโm on call 12 daysย out of 14, so I canโt be more than five minutesย from the boathouse.โ These days, his workย clothes are overalls, and socialising involvesย catching up with fishermen in the local club.ย But, he says, โOnce I started volunteering, it feltย more important than anything else.โ
Returning to your childhood hobbies and passions
My children are seven and nine, and playingย music till the cows come home, entering exams and considering music as a career. Iโve joinedย them, singing in two choirs, taking up the trumpet and finally plucking up the courage toย enter my Grade 7 violin exam.
Itโs probably tooย late for me to make a hit record, but musical meย feels closer to the childhood Hazel than the oneย sitting at my desk writing. Iโm happy and haveย no regrets, but I sometimes wonder why I didnโtย listen to that nine-year-old telling herself sheโdย like to be a folk singer, or why I didnโt fightย harder for music to be a bigger part of my life.ย ย
Recently, a friend told me about an art class that she was taking. At the age of 47, it had dawned on her that she was finally living the life she imagined as a child, having spent years pursuing what she considered โproperโ hobbies.
We do this a lot. A survey by Zety shows that 82 per cent of people who did not fulfil their childhood dreams are not pursuing them at all in adulthood, and research from Open Study College finds that only one in three people are doing the job they dreamed of when they were young.
Many of my peers say the same thing โ forget giving up the day job, the thought of going to a lino-cutting class seems self-indulgent; that theyโd love to be in a band but thatโs for people without children and jobs.
Weโre bombarded with advice onย how to be the โnew youโ, make changesย and seek fresh challenges โ but whatย about rediscovering the old things? If you don’t know what job to do, it could be time to reconnect with your childhood passions.
What job should I do?
Working out what job we really wantย could mean going back to a time whenย our brain wasnโt so set in its ways. โOurย pre-frontal cortex โ the bit we use forย decision-making and complex cognitive tasks โ doesnโt develop untilย we are in our 20s,โ says psychologistย Philip Karahassan.
โThis means weย rely on our amygdala to makeย decisions when young. This part of theย brain is associated with emotions andย impulses, so weโre only thinking about ourselves, and we donโt have to worryย about money, kids or stability.โ
Money, of course, is the stumblingย block. It can be terrifying, Andyย agrees: โMy last full-time job paid fourย times my Royal National Lifeboatย Institution salary. It was a risk to give up those hard-to-replace contracts.โ For this reason if no other, goingย back to your childhood career plansย might be more about accessing theย way the idea of doing that job madeย you feel.
What did you want to be when you grew up?
What we wanted when we were children may be quite differentย to our present needs but, saysย Karahassah, โThinking about the typesย of professions or way of life the childย wanted will give us an understanding of what our needs are now, and alsoย what we could be in the future.โ
Forย example, he says, โPlaying nurse whenย youโre a child might mean you wouldย get a sense of self-worth or self-esteemย from a caring role. It doesnโt mean aย nurse specifically, but it could promptย you to look at your childhood valueย systems. Making a change might beย about using your passion, values andย creativity in a more fulfilling way.โ
But it can be difficult โonce youโveย taken on a certain brandโ, saysย Karahassan. โSometimes, itโs aboutย mixing with another version ofย yourself for a while, dedicating time toย just being you and being a bit selfish.โย
Reconnect with your childhood self when you don’t know what to do as a job
LifeShine director Donna Eastonย runs programmes for adults who wantย to unravel grown-up layers andย remember who they once were.ย The exercises are great for when you don’t know what to do as a job.
โWhen we were young, we indulgedย in activities for the sheer fun of them,’ Easton explains. ‘Have you ever seen a dancing five-year-old worry about how good theirย moves are? They just enjoy the music.ย As we age, we decide we can no longer take part in things we arenโt good at,ย so many of our inner desires are lost.โย
Eastonโs work involves using play toย โlook at a specific dream, working outย the core of that attraction and findingย ways to inject those elements back intoย the day to day. For example, if yourย dream was to be a pop star, whatโs toย stop you singing every day? When weย access the joy that is right at the core ofย our being, we awaken the wide-eyedย โanything is possibleโ youngster inside and realise that it really isโ.ย ย
How to unlock your childhood passions and find your dream job
Easton takes clients through guidedย meditations back to moments in theirย childhood. โI invite them to rememberย times when they felt like superheroesย or when they were proud of themselves,ย when people were smiling and tellingย them how great they were,โ she says.ย โWe can also open up our childhoodย memory bank by being specific. If you don’t know what to do as a job, askย yourself:
- What was the first thing youย did when you got home from school?ย ย
- Did you spend time with yourย grandparents?
- What activities did youย enjoy together?
- How did you spendย your holidays?
- When you played with your friends, what did you play?
- Whenย you played alone, what did you play?
- At primary school,ย what lessons did you love?โ
This imagining comes easily to me.ย ย I close my eyes and picture myย grandparentsโ front room. Iโm siftingย through their record collection โ Dollyย Parton, Elvis Presley and Tammy Wynette, enduring loves of mine.ย Childhood me is telling me something.
Easton says she deliberately refers to grandparents as they are often the people who have more time and patience with us as children for beloved activities. This rings true as I recall hours listening to music with them and picturing myself on stage at the Grand Ole Opry while singing along to my grandadโs harmonica.
These days, while tooting away onย my trumpet, nine-year-old me glowsย with excitement. Iโm finally where Iย wanted to be and Iโm delighted.ย ย Iโve resolved to encourage myย children to never let go of theseย feelings like I did.
When my daughterย told me she could see herself having aย career in politics, we had a discussionย about what that could mean and how itย made her feel, instead of me telling herย to work hard and get good GCSEs. Sheย might never fulfil her musical dream orย be prime minister, but I hope she wonโtย forget that she once wanted to be.
How to reignite your childhood passions
Don’t know what to do as a job? Tap into your innateย self-knowledge and abilityย to find fulfilment in your career…
Try and return to yourย childhood emotionally
If you don’t know what to do as a job, look at pictures from your pastย and remind yourself what youย wanted and who you were whenย you were that age. Read yourย diaries if you have any. If thisย doesnโt jog your memories,ย retrace the games you used toย play, pick up a paintbrush, makeย a Fuzzy-Felt picture if you must.ย ย How do you feel? What did you want to be when you grew up?ย Get back in touch with yourย childhood dreams.
Talk to people who knewย you as a child
If yourย mother says, โYou always wantedย to be an actor,โ dig deeper. Howย did this childhood ambitionย manifest itself? Or, how did youย make your desire known? Howย do your schoolfriends rememberย you? What did they think youย would be when you grew up?ย Have you surprised them withย your choices in life?
Think beyond the objectย or activity
Don’t just think about the activity itself – think to the emotionalย sense of what realising yourย aspirations would mean for you.ย Ask yourself whether you areย meeting that emotional need inย the present. Are there ways youย could do so right now? In the actorย analogy, for example, did you enjoyย performing as a form of expression?ย Do you need more creativity orย playfulness in your life?
QUIZ: What’s stopping you from having your dream job?
Still don’t know what to do as a job? Take our quiz to find out what’s holding you back from taking the leap into your dream career…